When standing at a crossroads, the signs can be confusing

Years ago, before I started this business, I was standing at a significant crossroads in my own work journey. I had been operating another business, which by external measures was deemed “successful”, however, it had come to the point where the work I was doing had lost all meaning to me and was devoid of any satisfaction or fulfillment. I knew I could no longer tolerate staying on the same path, however, I didn’t know where I wanted to go next. I was trapped in stasis. On the good days, I would sit slumped in my office chair staring off into space, and on the less than good days, I would throw a tantrum at any person who dared to be in my vicinity. It wasn’t until I stepped into the work I do now that I fully understood my erratic behaviour.

Since then, I have come to know about myself that one of my greatest strengths is my ability to create processes that help people take steps forward on their chosen path and build energetic momentum. For me, what this means is that being stagnant or stuck is akin to torture. It goes against my true nature.

When I was in my own state of confusion, I was tormented by the lack of forward movement in my life. I thought if I could just find the path that would lead me to where I was supposed to be, I would be free. But I was so lost, I didn’t even know if making a change in my career was the right thing to do. I had to ask a toy for the answer.

At the time, I had one of those Magic 8 Balls, which had been given to me as a gag gift. If you’re not familiar, it’s a novelty toy that was at its height of popularity in the 80s. It literally looks like a giant 8 ball and is meant to be used for fun as a “fortune telling” device. The idea is that you ask it a yes/no-type question, shake it, then turn it over to see the window where it reveals an answer.

With a smidgen of hopefulness in my heart, I held the Magic 8 Ball in my hands and posed the question:

“Will I find success in a new venture?”

When I turned it over, my heart sank at the response. It read:

“When pigs fly.”

I became even more dispirited. I was so sure it was time to take a giant step forward in my work. My own inner guidance had been prompting me in a new direction, however, the thoughts in my head made me doubt everything. I tried to shrug off the notion that there was something more for me to live, but I couldn’t. I made the decision I was going to venture forth into the unknown, despite what my fortune read.

With a decision comes confirmation

It would have served me better at the time had I remembered the futility of seeking answers outside of myself. It is always disorienting when we look outside of ourselves for guidance – be it literal signs in the physical world, advice from well-meaning loved ones, or even channelled messages from the divine. External objects, persons, or entities do not hold the answers for us, however, the benefit of receiving their communication is that they help to amplify what we are truly feeling inside. That is where our actual guidance lives.

My disappointment in the 8 ball’s “answer” should have been the only indication I needed. I knew within myself it was time for me to make a leap of faith, regardless of any suggestion to the contrary. Yet, I wasn’t practiced enough in heeding my own inner guidance. What I also didn’t realize at the time was that I had only received half of the “message”. There was another sign to come.

The next afternoon, I went on my usual grocery shop to the local store. I like to decide each day what to prepare for dinner as I prefer to feel into what my body craves in real time. The store was only three blocks from my house and I enjoyed the daily walk.

As I approached the store entrance, I slowed my pace, waiting for the automatic doors to slide open. After feeling the familiar whoosh of warm air escaping to the outside, I stepped through the entryway. What I saw inside stopped me dead in my tracks.

High above me, floating in the air, were several flying pigs. Not pigs of the flesh-and-bone kind, but of the helium-filled balloon kind. My jaw hung open in disbelief. Once I collected myself, without further hesitation, I grabbed the ribbon that hung from the belly of the closest balloon and marched to the checkout. I carried that balloon three blocks home, all the while gazing up at it in wonder. I don’t think I actually bought any groceries that day.

Once home, I took the balloon into my office and released it to float to the ceiling. I sat in my chair staring at it with a silly grin on my face. Internally, I was giddy. It was the affirmation I had been seeking.

In retrospect, I can see that it was the nudge I needed to give myself permission to make the “crazy” decision I had been wanting to make, which was to walk away from my business and pass through the gate into the unknown. I didn’t know what was ahead for me, but I was determined to find out.

Clarity of action comes from within

I learned later the reason those balloons were at the store was because it was the time of Chinese New Year, and they were to celebrate that it was the Year of the Pig (which also just so happens to be my sign). Whatever the practical reason for their existence didn’t matter, I knew those balloons were there for me.

Over the next several months, that flying pig floated over my shoulder as I diligently explored my options. However, it was not as joyous of a process as I would have liked. I found there was no roadmap to discovering the work we are here to do. I researched the companies, did the personality tests, studied from the “experts”, but to no avail. I was still walking in circles, primarily because I was still seeking answers outside of myself. It wasn’t until I turned the direction of my search inward that I found a revealing landscape dotted with wayfinding signage.

When we are connected with our internal guidance system, we have access to an inner compass that wants to guide us on our journey. Clarity doesn’t mean we know our destination, it means that we are in contact with our own guidance. If we are paying attention to the signals of our bodies, we will receive an impulse that indicates our next step.

While I was immersed in my self-discovery process, through a series of guided actions, I was invited into teaching business and self-employment skills at several different schools in my area. I taught in those classrooms for several years and it was rewarding in many aspects, however, I also knew there was still more I wanted to express in my work. Though my path into those opportunities had been unplanned, they served me perfectly in helping me gain insight into the next evolution of my journey.

Trust your path will unfold 

While teaching business skills to budding entrepreneurs, I came to realize that what I was actually encouraging them to do was to create work centred around who they are. The challenge for most of them was that conventional advice had taught them to distrust and dishonour themselves.

They has been told to “follow the money” (and not their heart), and to build businesses based upon what the “market demands” (and not what their soul wanted to create). They were also taught that their worth was tied up in the knowledge they were learning and the qualifications they were earning, all the while discounting their own inherent value. Before they had even started their own entrepreneurial journeys, they had been conditioned away from being who they are.

To me, this makes no sense. How could it be that we are each born into this lifetime exactly who we are, extraordinary with our own unique set of strengths, gifts, and talents, and diverse with our own particular interests and desires, and then, we are not supposed to be who we are in our work? It’s ludicrous, yet, it’s what much of the world will have us believe. 

Eventually in my teaching, I came to resent having to have the superficial conversations about sales taxes and insurance policies when what I really wanted was to dig deeply into the conversations about who they were. That realization was the planting of a seed that grew into this business.

In the beginning, it wasn’t as though I had complete clarity about what this business wanted to be. I just knew I wanted to help people overcome the societal conditioning that would have them believe that who they are is not enough and to encourage them to create work as an expression of their true selves. The methods of how I go about doing that came after that realization.

Now I help those who are tormented by the same frustration and hopelessness that I once felt. I share with them the most important thing I learned to do when you get stuck at a crossroads in your work journey:

You don’t have to know where you are going, you just have to make the decision to go.

From there, once you move into inspired action and trust the unfolding, then you, too, will fly.